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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Responsibility over risk.

Going to Chicago always does something to me. Inspires me, saddens me, enlightens me. Reminds me that I'm not really living. I haven't been to Chicago in just over a year. The last time I went was for training for work. We were north of the city in Schaumberg (or something like that). It was cool; getting away from work for the week on the company's dime. Drinking every night and dining out for every meal. I even got to see Juan who came up to see me one night; we stayed up late shooting darts and playing pool.Coming back from that trip, I can remember feeling so energized and pumped up about the possibilities that lay ahead.

I was accompanied by my service manager and my counterpart that hired in with me. Both of them are pretty, thin, tall blondes who dressed to the nines everyday. It was awesome to get a peek into their world. I'm the only Black female in my division at my location. I am also the only overweight girl. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Those chicks ate low-fat, fat-free, sugar free everything ate salads instead of burgers, and drank diet pop, if at all. I came back to Detroit feeling like I could conquer the world. For a week, we were given tips on how to overcome objections, trained on the products that we sell, and indoctrinated with corporate culture, our service philosophy, and, most importantly, our principal objective.

More recently, I've been feeling as if my performance at work is slipping. I was doing really, really well but within two quarters, I was on a plan that was, essentially, probation. I went from having had my name up in lights to being the example of how NOT to run one's route. 

Working 10 and 12 hour days was exhausting and I felt like I was chasing my tail. More recently; I've been trying to figure out this whole work/life balance thing. How to be able to go hard at work, be successful and make the most money possible while still having the time and energy to spend with my daughter and my boyfriend. 

I have yet to get a grasp on that totally, but what I have realized is that I have to really focus on bringing exercise back into my daily routine. It's the best way to manage stress and it makes me feel good. It helps my energy level, and, I sleep better. (As much as I love to sleep, this is essential). With my trip to Chicago, I didn't get to blog Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Wednesdays are Workout Wednesdays where I talk about my weight loss struggles and successes. One thing I know about myself is that my body adapts very well and very quickly to whatever I do to it. If I eat right and exercise; I can lose 5+ lbs in a week. (I lost 14 lbs in two weeks at the beginning of the year). If I eat all the wrong things and don't exercise; I can put on 5 lbs or more in a few days. 

There are many things that I know about myself; one of them is that I am a procrastinator. I hate this about myself because waiting until the last minute always gives me anxiety. Lately I am beginning to realize that my procrastination is what is causing my issues across the board. Instead of working out in the morning, I'll tell myself that I'll do it when I get home. When I get home, I tell myself I'll do twice as hard the next day to make up for it. Sometimes, I do, more often than not, I don't. 

Spending the time that I spent in Chicago with my BFF, and my brothers really made me reevaluate what it is that I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong. By changing certain behaviors that I am fully aware are self destructive, I can change many of the aspects of my life that I'm not happy about. I preach to my customers all the time about the need to be proactive instead of reactive. By anticipating issues and/or taking care of the issues right away; you save yourself the headache and the hassle that comes along with allowing that molehill to turn into a mountain. 

So, I'm taking my own advice and moving forward with one of the affirmations that I used to tell myself. "Doing it tomorrow are words used by other people. I do mine now, get the job done and receive my just rewards." Right now; I've got to focus on maximizing the opportunities that I find myself in; making a decision to do and be the absolute best that I can be which is something that only I can control. That stands true in every aspect and area of life; work, home, fitness and any other area that I want to advance in. 

True story. 

Ludacris - Cold Outside

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