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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Best. New Year's. Ever.

I didn't get enough hugs this weekend...

I only see my boyfriend on weekends if I'm lucky. Lately he's been working so much that he's only off on Sunday. By then; he's saved all of his other errands and obligations for his one off day and we end up out-scheduling one another. Before Christmas weekend; it had been an entire month since I'd seen him last; not since the day after Thanksgiving.

He came over to see us Christmas morning. As has become a tradition; my Dad came over for Christmas breakfast and to give my daughter her Christmas gifts. He always gives me something, usually money, which is always welcomed and appreciated. It was their first time meeting and my Dad liked my boyfriend. He later told me that he wanted to play the tough father role, but couldn't fake the funk; he liked my boo off the top. He could tell he was a good guy.

This week was my ex-husband's turn to keep our daughter so I got my boyfriend all to myself. He spent a lot of the first few hours loading the Zune MP3 player I got him for Christmas but the rest of his time was (mostly) devoted to me. We went to the movies; Tron in Imax 3D and The Chronicles of Narnia. Two movies that would not have been on my radar had it not been for him, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed.

This weekend was also a time of 'firsts' for me; my first kiss under a mistletoe and my first kiss to ring in a New Year. Despite having been married for six years; I've never had the pleasure of these experiences. My boo was more than happy to accommodate me both times. (He also found out that I've never experienced being in a "Dutch Oven". I told him that I do not want to experience that and that if he feels the need to expose me to it that I will not cook him anything from my dutch oven or anything resembling an oven for a week!)

That aside, I enjoyed having him all to myself. We've already planned to go to the Monster Truck Jam this coming weekend so thankfully, I know a month will not lapse before our next visit. But still... I didn't get enough hugs.

Hugs are the way that my boo and I show our love for one another. Prior to meeting; both of us took a vow of celibacy until marriage. Upon meeting; we revealed said plans to one another to our mutual delight.

I will say that it has been MOST difficult. In order to maintain our celibacy pact; we are very deliberate in the way that we deal with one another. We do not share lingering kisses or embraces for that matter. Cuddling on the couch is also limited. And though he spends the night at my house; he is banished to the living room couch and I to my bedroom. While together; we are constantly reminding one another of our promise to God and to one another in order to keep our priorities in order. It is easily the most difficult thing I have ever done. But I feel that because it is so difficult and such a conscious sacrifice that the payout is going to be that much more awesome than what I can imagine.

When I left my ex husband in April of 2008; I was lost in every sense of the word. I wasn't sure if I still wanted to be with him or to be single. Unless you've been through the divorce process; it's difficult to understand the emotions that come along with it. When I was in the process of leaving my then husband; he and I shared THE BEST intimate experiences that we ever experienced. A huge part of me thinks it was him trying to show me what it was that I was leaving (which ultimately is a factor of being a controlling person) and another part of me says it was both of us being opportunistic; we were able to get our rocks off without fornicating.

After cutting off this unspoken arrangement with my ex-husband, I took a vow of celibacy that lasted eight months. When it ended; it was by my choosing with, of all people, my best friend's little brother. Our affair lasted six months before I came to my senses and cut it off. I repented of the myriad infractions and promised God that I would not give myself again to anyone other than my husband; an easy thing to do when there's not so much as a prospect in sight.

Eight and a half months later, I encounter the man, (that I soon after realize) will be my husband. The kind, unassuming, strong, sensitive, caring (and "FOINNE") man that loves me just as much as I love him. Who knew such a thing was possible? Now, all of those amazing Anita Baker songs that I love so much have a subject to pair them to when I sing along; a person who is worthy of the lyrics.

He's awesome and I'm not just saying that; he really is. I feel blessed just to know him, let alone to call him mine... As hard as it is not to be a part of the status quo; I'm happy to break the mold with him. It'll be our testimony; to say that we waited until marriage and for each other.

Amen to that!

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