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Sunday, May 8, 2011

{Mother's Day} Parenthood Sucks!

Being a parent sucks!

      I really do feel that way. Me voicing how I feel about this is bound to illicit many different reactions. I know this because I've told lots of people this very thing. But it's true. Being a parent SUCKS! (Especially being a single parent).
     Many parents won't verbalize this out of fear of how people would react to this but I've got to keep it real. Let's be clear; I would DIE for my daughter. Everything that I do is for her. My motivation, what gets me out of bed is knowing that I am responsible for providing for her.. Hell, I left my husband for her. So, don't get it twisted; it's not a decision I would reverse, take away, or change for anything! However... all things being equal, kids are walking, talking BILLS. You invest all that you have into them and you have no idea if you are doing a good job. Only time tells you, and you have to wait 18 years before you're sure if they're even on the right path. 
    What's true about parenthood is that it is the highest calling that one can receive. It is the greatest responsibility that you will ever take on. It is a job that if you are not ready or prepared for, that you will fail at. You have the potential to raise a professional or a crackhead. You have no idea if you're doing things right at any given moment and you are bound to make mistakes because kids do not come with a handbook. 
    Most people are born with the ability to have children but everyone is not given the tools and/or guidance needed to rear them properly. 
     To spank or not to spank, to be a friend or to take the hard road. Personally, I play it by ear. I was raised (obviously) and I try to take the good and the bad and mesh it into how I raise Shey. But! At the end of the day; I'm human. I make mistakes and I'm really just winging it. I'm a working, single mom. Work often comes first (cuz we gotta eat right?) even though deep down, I'd love to stay at home and raise her full time.
     This is my 5th Mother's Day. I was pregnant back in '06 during Mother's Day but I still considered myself to be a Mom. In fact, I can remember telling my Mom and Step-Dad that I was going to make them Grand-parents that very Mother's Day weekend. I knew what I was being charged with; a precious gift from God, on indefinite loan to me to raise in a righteous, virtuous way until she was called home or he returned. It's heavy! 
     I look at my friends who are moms. Mainly my two besties Amirh and Racheal. Amirh is busy raising geniuses and Racheal is aptly nicknamed 'The Kid Whisperer'. Their oldest kids are 5+ years the senior of my little one and seemingly on the right path. I have no choice but to ask for advice and glean from the benefit of their experience. 
     Oddly enough; I want more children. A son especially. I've got a 12 year old God-son and a 13 year old nephew that I love dearly. Heck; I wanted Shey to be a boy (they seem easier, lol). My would be husband doesn't have any children and we've agreed that we want more. I think it would be good for Asheley to have a sibling (/friend) to play with that will take some of the pressure off of me! 
     In truth; it's just me and her; all day, everyday. She looks to me to compensate for her loneliness and lack of friends and I can't. My daughter is a girly girl... Make-up, manicures, pedicures, feather boas, and tiaras...  Y'all know that a'int me. But I try! I swear I do. If I had ANY cool points left before I became a Mommy they are gone! Though I've got a bucket full of Mommy cool points that I can cash in with Shey for 'smoochies' anytime I need to. True story; I'd rather have those. 
     I've said all of that to say this; be certain that you are ready for parenthood and ALL that it entails before becoming a parent. It's hard! And anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or anxious to see you struggle like they did/do. 
    Boyz II Men 'A Song for Mama'

The stereotypical Mother's Day Song.... (I don't care; it fits! :) )

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